Monday, June 17, 2013
Men and emotions
What a topic right?! I was thinking about some of the things that make men the way we are and why we often seem to "stuff" our emotions. Once again, here goes nothing.
As kids boys are supposed to be strong and not cry as adults people fault us for hiding our emotions. We are taught by those around us that we should be unshakeable in our strength and unwavering in our decisions and emotions for this is what a real man does arrr ugh and all that crap. As we grow older and hopefully more mature we find out that our friends, especially the lady friends (girlfriends and spouses), don't like that we "stuff" our feelings. They want us to talk to them about our day, how it went, did anything good or bad happen how do we "feel". Our usually response is probably something like this ..."it was fine" or "just another day". We have been taught most of our lives to hide the hurt and pain and we added the rest in ourselves I think.
We also have this dilemma of not acting on our emotions as an adult. If we do people often get hurt whether physically or emotionally, bad things can happen. We are mad so we lash out or even hit someone or something. We are sad so we isolate and sulk. None of these are good, obviously. So it appears that what we are taught as younger boys may not be so bad.
How then do we learn to find that balance of feeling and sharing our emotions but not reacting to or basing decisions on them?
I certainly do not have the "right" answer to this question but I have a few ideas from what I have been learning the last 18 months or so. First and foremost we must rely fully on God for any and all decisions. Without Him as our guide we are simply lost and wandering. I also think that being able to share our emotions, yes actually talking about them with someone else, can be very freeing and can help clear our minds to make rational decisions.
Though it can be difficult I believe it is essential to being a true man of God and something I am slowly learning to do.
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Sounds heartfelt ,intelligent and
ReplyDeleteendearing as well. Would like to meet
You with Shelley-- my angel!